I Got Comfy, She Got Annoyed, How Do I Win Her Back?

If you have a dating question for The Dating Advice Girl, send to Erin@TheDatingAdviceGirl.com

Q.  My girlfriend of almost five years told me a couple weeks ago she wanted some space. She is in her first year at Vet school 6 hours away. It seems we only look back for problems after things break.. I know that I have missed opportunities to pay attention and got complacent with her… Well I was wrong. I want to make this work but I am stuck. 

A.  I’m sorry to hear about your breakup 😦 It’s so easy to get comfortable/complacent in long term relationships. It happens to the best of us!

Your girl is taking some time to reevaluate things. This may not be all bad news. After some time away, she may realize that she misses you and misses your relationship. This break can also be something that prompts the two of you to come up with ideas to make your relationship stronger and change your partnership for the better. Honestly the only thing you can do right now is express your love to her while still giving her space while she figures things out. Express a willingness to be a better man and a better partner. Maybe there is a way for you to ‘make a date’ with her, drive out to see her, and have a face-to-face convo with her about the two of you while doing something fun and ‘date-like’. That will help to remind her of the good times. Also be sure to ask her what she wants. Ask her what changes would she like to be made in your relationship? Ask for specifics. This way you’ll have a better idea of how to get back on track. Asking for specifics will also show her how serious you are about changing things…

No matter what happens, remember that you never want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you. Do what you can to show her that you’re willing to do your part to make your relationship awesome. Of course it would suck to not get back together, but it would suck even more to be with someone who has only luke-warm feelings for you or isn’t willing to make effort on their end.

Check in with her periodically, while still giving her space to figure things out. This is never easy, but your willingness to make things better will hopefully entice her to give it another try!

Good luck! I’m rooting for you!

Hugs,

Erin ‘The Dating Advice Girl’ 🙂

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